Hi folks. It’s very late right now and I am trying to get a lot of stuff done today. I’ve got about 30 minutes to go so here I go. LOL! I am not overly stressed out at the moment because my ADHD medication seems to be working pretty good. I was under the impression that Ritalin and Concerta didn’t go very well together, but right now I am stable and not stressed out. I think that it seems to just depend. I took my concerta very late today so that might be it. I was also under the impression that my concerta was out but it turned out that I was wrong; that’s why I ended up taking the medication much too late. I actually was very late the other day and that’s not because I was late but just because I took a significantly longer than usual time to write my Ethereal Insights post, which sucks. I have no intention of letting that post run away to that extent today however. I’m thinking about writing about identity politics in my “Collectivism & Individualism series”. I guess it doesn't have to be a very long post. But now that I come to think about it. A shorter reflection on identity politics may also belong to my “Observations about the word series”. I haven’t made up my mind quite yet, but we’ll just have to see. I wrote about polygamy the other day and that was fun. Again, most of my posts on Ethereal Insights are just troll posts because it’s funny, which is why I need to stop taking this thing so seriously. I don’t need to go in 1000%; 50%’s more than enough. I don’t have that much to say today and I can start to feel my stress creeping up on me, but I am just going to have to live with that. Being stressed and bored at the same time really sucks because that can really make me feel just completely hopeless. Well, that brings me to a fun note I guess. Because I was stressed and bored the other day I managed to play Russia in HOI4. And maybe you’re asking yourself right now about Russia in HOI4, at least if you’re just a little bit, but only a little bit, familiar with the game. Yes, you can end up in a civil war when you play the Soviets and basically put the provisional government in charge. What I did was that I declared the Third Rome, because yes, the Russian Empire before the 1917 revolution proclaimed itself to be the “Third Rome”, and I just loved that I kept the capital in Chita. But I’ve been over this before so I don’t need to rehash this again, but I do want to just say that it was pretty hard to win the civil war and I really just cheated because I just wanted to have fun and I didn’t want to deal with the stupid civil war. I ended up in the axis and now I’m buddies with the Germans, and I believe we both have war goals on each other, but those are rendered mute, since we’re both in the same faction. Look, I am in no state to defend myself against Germany if they were to invade me. See, civil wars just suck in HOI4 and they really just devastated the country and really if I’m barely ready to defend against the Germans in a normal USSR game by 1941, I am going to have to wait until like 1945 in this game. But no, HOI4 can be funny sometimes, but when I’m bored I just normally end up not bothering with starting a game, which is a dumb thing but I am not that great at HOI4. Sure, if I play Britain I am good, but that’s because I’ve mostly only played Britain in HOI4. I’m also pretty good as America and somewhat good as the Soviets. But playing like a smaller nation in HOI4, I just suck because I am so used to playing majors. The reason why I suck at playing minors is because I just am not used to it. I am also somewhat conservative and cautious and I end up concentrating on my economy. The thing is this in HOI4, if you’re too small you’re economy is just not going to be able to catch up and that’s why early expansion is important, but I am so unwilling to play the META in HOI4 that I just end up taking the fun out of the game. See, this inability to be flexible is just a personality trait of mine and it really sucks. I have a very hard time changing how I’ve always done something and that makes my life profoundly boring, but it also makes me exceptionally consistent, but sometimes you don’t need to be consistent. If you’re going to be consistent, you should focus on being consistent where it matters to be consistent, and many things that I spend time on these days just don’t matter that much. Okay, I am stressing out right now and I am trying to calm myself down, but I think the stress is going to get the better of me, which means that this post will more likely turn into a word sallad, which in my mind is better than writing nothing. If I was able to control myself I should end this post now, but I just need to hit at least 6000 characters in order to be happy. I am also being severely distracted at the moment. I need to take control over myself. I guess that timer serves to stress me out quite a lot as well because that means that I can’t take a pause because I am not able to paus that damn timer. Ah, I am trying to relax and calm myself down, but it’s not something I can help at the moment. I should stop writing these blog posts but I need to stop stressing out right now. This sucks so bad. Why am I torturing myself so much? The worst part about stress for me is the fact that it gets physical for me; almost as if there are ants beneath my skin. It’s hard to describe it. Some people are very annoying because they keep talking at me without getting the message that I’m not interested in them, and I feel that I almost have to be rude to people in order to get them to back off and I just hate that. Why are some people this way? Am I stupid? Like, if someone’s not interested in talking with me I get that pretty quickly and often before I even attempt to talk to them, but some people just seem blind to this. I am being distracted by my cat sometimes as well, and I love him, don’t get me wrong, but he has a tendency to start when I am very busy and just not able to give him attention. Why can’t he annoy me when I am not busy? The universe just has a way with me sometimes, but that may be because of my personality traits. I am really a person that can be labeled a control freak. See, as I’ve stated before: either I do something 100% or I don’t do it; I just cannot moderate. So when I am doing stuff I am always going 100%, and this gives me no room to be flexible and that inability to apprehend the turns in life has created much discomfort. Well, I have now less than 10 minutes to go and I am just a mess right now. I’m going to be honest. The person distracting me right now is my mother and yes I love her but I would also love for her to shut the fuck up right now, not that I would say this to her. I should move to my own place but that’s just not possible at the moment. So I’m going to have to stand her talking to me. The thing about women that is annoying in this regard is that they tend to talk just openly about all sorts of things not because they want me to engage but because they want to use me to clear their thoughts. I’m sorry but this is very painful and annoying to me, please stop. Men can do this too but they tend to yap just a little bit less. Not that men can’t talk, but it’s just that they tend to talk when it’s appropriate to talk. Women just seem oblivious to this. I’m sorry but that’s just the way I feel. Well, I’m somewhat delayed but I’m pretty much finished with this post right now. How much time’s left? Well, less than five minutes. So, I’m out. Signing out.
Reginald Drax – February 23, 2026.
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