Hi folks. Ah, I believe that my new and slightly changed routine is working out pretty good. It’s been a great idea turning off the internet. Well, I haven’t turned off the internet, it’s just that I’m not constantly being bombarded with the internet. I have a lot of anxiety and the only thing the internet ever managed to do for me was to heighten my anxiety. Well, that’s not completely true, but it did bring information into my life that just wasn’t needed. I don’t need to worry about the world all the damn time. I like exercising, because I feel that I am more mentally stable and clear after moving around for a while. I’ve also decided that I will lift some weights and do some pull ups every day, because I need to build more muclemass. I simply do not have enough muscle mass and without that I am likely to just end up developing diabetes, which I do not want. Again, I don’t care about my appearance, and my view on appearance is basically this at the moment: either you’re conventionally attractive or not, and that’s that. Yes, yes, yes I am sure that you can do all sorts of things to “improve” your appearance, but overall I think that you should just not obsess over that stuff. The reason why I am writing a lot about appearance is because the internet, specifically YouTube, has been bombarding me with this stuff for no apparent reason. I don’t know, but I’m getting the slight suspicion that YouTube thinks I am gay. LOOOOL! Anyways, it is a little bit gay for a guy to obsess about his appearance, and I guess I at some point watched a video about building muscles and the algorithm then just decided that yes, I am gay and I am obsessed with my psyche, etc. Well, I’m not but I am obsessed with not getting diabetes, because I know that diabetes is a very bad disease. Again, if diabetes had been less common, I suspect that most people wouldn’t treat it with this almost blasé attitude: diabetes is very serious and I read that if you don’t have enough muscle mass you’re probably going to develop diabetes as you age, and I don’t want to develop diabetes. Also, I am tired of being a fat slob, and while I may not really be fat anymore, I still think of myself this way. I have a very funny and protective brain: when I am fat I don’t think of myself as fat, and when I am not that fat I all of a sudden realize that I used to be very fat, and it’s just kinda shocking and sad I guess. I think many fat people have this mindset, where they don’t accept and or understand that they are fat and so they don’t do anything about it, or they just can’t stop eating. Again, I don’t like eating which is a very good thing and makes it very easy for me to lose weight. In this instance my autism and my OCD has been really helpful, because I feel that since I hate sticky substances and since I hate the idea of just becoming dirty, I just avoid eating, and this is great. How can this be a bad thing? I am tired of psychiatrists and psychologists always inventing new problems. It’s largely, so far, been a good thing for me that I have OCD and I can’t say that I’ve been really sick for over a year. If I don’t get sick before February next year, which is in like two months, then it will be over two years since I was sick the last time, and I do suspect that my obsessive need to clean myself has a thing or two to do with that. It’s not good to be sick. Yes, yes, and yes, I get that the immune system needs to sometimes be stressed, but I don’t think that it should be the case that I should happily embrace becoming sick, that just makes no sense to me. I think about it this way: if I don’t get sick, that’s because my immune system has been strong enough to fight off all the infections. But, I don’t like to speculate too much about health and diseases, because those speculations can quickly get out of hand and take a rather unpleasant route if further explored. Yes, in modern times fascism is always close to hand, and I guess the war generation has pretty much died off, so facism will soon not be in living memory, and that’s dangerous. Yes, to some extent I do feel that fascism is more salient right now, but because of all the noise on the internet I also have a slightly hard time assessing reality, because do remember that most things get very amplified online, and that can make it seem that facism is iminent. My guess is that facism won’t take over anytime soon, it’s just politically not possible, not yet. But yes, if democracies keep sliding into authoritarian thinking then it’s likely that facism will take root somewhere. Maybe America, I don’t know. America is a strange country in a lot of ways, and I feel that America is very much shaped by the internet to appear more polarized and tense than what it actually is. Do remember that after all, America is a federation that consists of 50 states with a population above 300 million. I just don’t think America is ready for facism. But yes, I know that some liberal will then proclaim that actually facism is already happening in America and that people are not caring about it’s consequences, and while that may be true, I do think people always overstate the case and when you overstate the case you kinda help the fascists because you inoculate people to facism. Yes and yes, I know that I use the word inoculate a lot recently, but I think that has to be true, right? Words are funny in that way: once you notice a word, you tend to notice it more and more, at least that’s how it works for me, but it can’t possibly be the case that those words just start to magically appear more once you’ve noticed them? No, what happens when you learn a new word is that you’re opening yourself up to a new world, and with that a new way of thinking and a new way of relating to the old world, and in that sense that new world, in my case inoculate, acts as a bridge between the future and the contemporary. Yes, words are important and they can be very powerful. This is something that I guess most politicians are aware of, but some more than others I think. Of course, it’s then always funny and interesting to notice the vocabulary of some politicians, and I must again just note that Donald Trump of the United States has a very distinct way of talking, and I did read somewhere that this way of talking was apparently learned or taught to him by some advisor. Whatever the case, it's interesting. Most politicians in Sweden and seemingly in the rest of the world tend to be more boring, and that’s why I prefer politicians of the olden days, because they did speak in a more poetic tone, because that was just how people spoke back then, the difference between the written word and the spoken word, on a formal level at least, was probably wider but also smaller in a way: see a lot of those old statesmen, like Neville Chamberlain, Franklin Roosevelt, etc, grew up in a time when people just didn’t use grammar, and meter was just how you wrote and then how you spoke and I just like that rhythm that people used to have, and I guess it’s sad that this aspect of speech has been a little bit lost in modern times. Well, I’m out now' cause I've got other business to attend to. Signing out.
Reginald Drax – December 10, 2025.
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