Hi folks. I’ve played a lot of Battlefield 2042 as of late, and I must admit that it is very funny to shoot some of those characters in the head, but I do still sometimes feel sad for them. I am even afraid of some of the vehicles used in the game, especially tanks. I think this stems from the fact that I’ve always been profoundly opposed to militaries, even on some level when it comes to video games. Now, don’t get me wrong , I am by no means saying that it’s wrong to play video games, because it isn’t. What I am saying isn’t so much about video games, but more about reality. Yes, because as I’ve explained in previous posts, for me military stuff in general has been a trauma for me. Or not so much a trauma but a bad thing. See, when I was a very young kid my father brought me to a military show, and I started to cry, and yes I wasn’t very old but I still think that I realized even back then that there was something suspect and wrong and potentially evil about the artillery pieces in particular, but the tanks and the heavy weapons to. I realized on a very deep level, for like a 3, 4, or 5 year old, that there was something very wrong about war. I think the reason why I still enjoy Battlefield 2042, isn’t so much because I like to kill things, but because I like to explore another world, because that is another world. Sometimes it is awfully important to become immersed in another world, so that you may liberate yourself from the shackles of this world. See, video games aren’t about reality, they’re about getting away from reality, and that’s why it’s so stupid of some people to think that video games somehow affect people’s mental health negatively. Do books or films affect people's mental health negatively? I don’t think so, generally at least, but once upon a time many people thought that books and films did affect mental health negatively. So what I am trying to get across is that it isn’t Battlefield 2042 or some other shooting game that’s made me so opposed to war; for me that’s always been true. I also don’t think that I was born to be strongly opposed to war and the military, but I’ve just managed to realize this, because I think I’ve chosen to be open-minded about this issue, as opposed to being like many people just accepting of the status quo. This of course brings me back to the War that’s now going on in Ukraine. In January or February, I wrote that for there to be a proper and honorable peace in Ukraine both sides have to meet each other in the middle, or Ukraine is likely going to lose out completely. Well, that point has likely arrived, or is likely going to arrive, or Ukraine rather is likely going to arrive at that point soon. Of course, back in January or February I drew parallels to the Finnish Winter war of 1939 – March 1940, and I concluded that for the Finnish to secure their sovereignty they had to offer some land to the Soviet Union. Well, this is no less true for Ukraine, and while this is certainly unfair, it is the way of the world. I think that most people of Ukraine want’s peace, and so do I, and most people in the world. Of course, beyond Ukraine, I hope for an honorable peace in Israel as well, because the treatment of Palestinians is quite simply outrageous and stands opposed to what I would like to consider to be “Jewish values”. Not that people identifying as Jews are responsible for the actions of the Government of Israel. I hope that people that at least claim to be pacifists hear the warnings of war, because it isn’t a video game, it’s reality. I also have no issue with refugees fleeing war, and I’d even consider that to be an act of heroism, in the face of war and inhumanity. I hope that the world can find a just and an honorable peace for us all and for the ages to come, because this isn’t working, and that has to be reckoned with at some point. Of course, there are plenty of people in the world that think that they’d be better off with the status quo, and that’s again the mentally incarcerated person talking again, so watch out for those folks. In the course of history the so-called “strong men” have always lost, and that’s because they were bad human beings, or at least they acted out in a very bad fashion that ended up making them not look so good in the historical record. Anyways, I am rambling on right now, so I’ll just attempt to get on to the right topic. I once read about a man that had taken heroin to cure his restlessness, and that man took so much heroin that he almost ended up dying, and I felt so sad for him, because he lost control of his mind due to this drug. That’s why you shouldn’t be taking drugs kids, they’ll end up screwing you up. I know that I’ve advocated and endorsed using drugs to cure all sorts of things in the past, but I’ve decided to change my mind, because I now realize more than ever that drugs are bad for you. If you are fat, I do not recommend that you take drugs, at least not heroin, fentanyl, or methamphetamine to cure that fatness. See, I believe that it was the old me that talked and wrote in this bad fashion, because I was confused and had been led astray, but now I am once again on the right course to find my truth – hopefully at least. See, your truth isn’t really for someone or other people to try to get into the police. See, only you may or at least should define your truth, and as I’ve claimed in the past and continue to hold: you are not wrong for being your authentic self. I know that I am continuing to ramble on, but it’s funny to ramble, but it’s also much funnier to ramble when you’re drunk. I am not drunk, because I do not drink alcohol, and that’s because alcohol is disgusting and bad for my health, or anyone's health generally. I remember that I thought that this was going to be a bumpy year, and I must admit that I’ve been largely right, but I also feel that It wasn’t as bumpy as I’d thought that it was going to be in the first place, and that does bring me some comfort. I feel that the world, much like me, has to find its authentic self, the best version of itself, because it’s currently failing hard at that to say the least. I am a person that is very impractical, and this has meant, at least for me, that as long as I am trying to live, life kinda gets harder for me than for many other people, at least that’s how it seems sometimes. I know that I used the word trauma in the beginning, but it’s not so much that this experience, of seeing the military, caused any trauma for me, but it’s more like it became a beacon of empowerment for me, and as such I now know what to be on the lookout for. I don’t need to justify my experience, and that’s by no means what I’ve been attempting to do, but I am feeling that it is sad sometimes that I cannot connect with other people. Of course, when you depend on the lie, that the hegemony serves you, you become afraid of anything that challenges that hegemony, including that authentic you, but that’s not my fault, and it cannot be allowed to be blamed on me. I am going to ponder about that for a while at least. In the meantime, I think I’ll write about art some day. Anyways, I'll be sleeping away for now. Singing off.
Reginald Drax – November 14, 2024.
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